Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
