I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
