careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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