seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Omg I joined a choir last night...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
