I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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