doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
