Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
