Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
