you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
