i think my tv is drunk
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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