he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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