Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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