As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
