I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I didn't notice because vodka
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
