Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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