she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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