some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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