it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize