...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
