good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
