hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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