i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Let the clothes fall where they may.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
