i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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