8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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