I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
