Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize