Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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