i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
