considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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