Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
