oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
