After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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