What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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