Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
