My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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