I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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