And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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