Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
