i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
