I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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