Your mouth is God's brothel.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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