I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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