Fuck appropriateness.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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