and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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