i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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