I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
