I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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