Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
