Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
