I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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