Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
