evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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