Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened

Fav 8 4603 1023
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(519): View more from Ontario

I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.

Fav 14 8150 1264
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(609): View more from New Jersey

you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.

Fav 13 2412 4145
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(512): View more from Texas

You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.

Fav 28 4548 3003
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(330): View more from Ohio

I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.

Fav 7 4030 1911
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(206): View more from Washington

Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her

Fav 4 2726 811
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.

Fav 6 864 1441
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married

Fav 1 39 117
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?

Fav 1 8 30
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