how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
