He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
