I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
